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| September 08, 2003
, 11:27 PM |
Memoirs from an unfinished life
"I am sick of life" I said.
Deepak looked at me for a few seconds before turning away as he said "You know what. Buddhism is really the most mature of all religions."
Despite myself I asked him why.
"Well after a lot of thought I have come to the conclusion that you really can't achieve happiness until you have complete freedom and that in turns requires you to achieve complete freedom of mind. Now if you have to do that the only way would be to break free from all that binds it. Responsibility, Emotions about yourself and towards other people and essentially all that makes you dependent in some way. Most of the times this dependency is not so obvious until you dig a little deeper. What I am talking about is complete detachment from everything around you. That is the only state you can theoretically be completely without worry or anxiety and hence happy."
"But Buddhism does assume a certain level of detachment even before you can embrace it. The level of entry I think really screws it."
"Well you also have to consider the fact that people wouldn't look for that kind of detachment unless they need it, which assumes a certain level of maturity of thought, hence raising the bar of entry also increases the distance it is possible to go to with Buddhism"
"Dude if I want performance I will go watch a sports match..not embrace religion" I said with some irritation "Also a religion can never be widely accepted unless it is integral to an already existing way of life without proposing too extreme a change to it. A fact that statistics about both Islam and Christianity, the two most followed religions, will attest to. Besides people like to think about God in absolutes... a defined difference between 'good' and 'evil' for most people is more important than even God. A concept where Buddhism falls short."
"See that is where you are wrong. Buddhism is more a way of life than it is about God"
"Aren't the other religions about the same?"
"Maybe that is how they started but no they aren't about a way of life any more....and you know that. Anyway that is not the point. Coming back to your particular statement that you are sick of life. Have you ever considered that maybe it is not what you do or have but what you think that makes your life so miserable. Maybe you are not detached enough. All you need to do is set yourself free."
".....and marijuana will set you free" I said, eyeing his roll with what can only be described as a smirk.
Angry with Deepak I got up and quickly left the house. When I look at it in retrospect I think I was more angry with myself for letting someone patronize me.
It started raining while I was waiting at the bus shelter. I lit another cigarette. I like smoking when it rains, even if it does nothing to make me feel better at that moment.
'9Y' was the bus that would take me home. I had been waiting for around 40 minutes when I noticed the ants.
.....I intend to continue this story but I don't know for sure. |
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