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| December 17, 2003
, 12:28 AM |
The Cigarette Bummers
Back home in India when I was a working lad in a startup, I had several official responsibilities. But apart from these official ones I had another responsibility by an unwritten code (That is to say nobody said it but everyone knew it). I was presented with the sacred reponsibility of manging cigarette supplies for our office. If anybody needed a cigarette but didn't have one, well I was the man they would instinctively reach out for. I have been waylaid by my eager friends in many a place be it meetings, client teleconferences, staircase, lifts, my desk, outside the office and even outside restrooms. There are times I have toiled in honest endeavor to make projects work, keep clients busy and generally get something done. On these occasions I tend to sit at my desk and contemplate deep problems (which I shall not mention should the theme deviate). During these times I would have people come to my desk help themselves to the cigarette packet that lay of my desk and withdraw without a single word, having completed the sacred deed. I always kept a packet of cigarettes on the desk for the peace it afforded me. But things were not so bad. These people I knew well and there were of course those occasions (albeit rare) when I needed to take cigarettes from them.
After coming to USA in spite of the fact that tobacco is thrice as expensive here, my expenditure remained the same (which is saying a lot). The two main reasons were
1. I smoked less because I had no company
2. Only I smoked the cigarettes I bought.
Little was I to know that this happy state wouldn't last. Along came the cigarette bummers. I call them cigarette bummers because they always start with "Hey man can I bum a cigarette off you" and bummer there is always a cigarette or two at hand to dole out. The first time I came across the first of these magnificient creatures, it was in Orlando at a dance club called Pleasure Island. An extremely attractive girl of Indian origin uttered the exact same words I mentioned above. I unsuspectingly reached out for the packet and let her help herself to one. It wasn't a total loss after all we danced for sometime but little was I to know that this would be turning point in my life. The day the bummers would start pouring in. Since that day everywhere I have gone I have had this phenomenon repeat itself several times over....ther have been in a short span of 3 months, homeless bummers outside gas stations, stupid bummers with lopsided smiles, naked bummers at the adult entertainment centers of SF, muscle powered bummers outside the gym, crooked bummmers....aaah....now these guys deserve a special mention....the crooked bummer......after helping himself to the first cigarette he will offer to pay for it and another one in small change if you can spare it...at which point u ask him to take another one....just to get rid of him.
The cigarette bummers are everywhere. The cigarette bummers are everywhere.
I don't know if it is my face, the way I dress or the packet of cigarettes I carry which communicates some sublimal message to the cigarette bummers of the world.....but I need help....by god I need help. |
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