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| December 28, 2003
, 1:09 AM |
The Unsocialite
It is like that. I can’t help it. I am an unsocialite. That is to say…people are too peripheral to my system. I am not talking about friends…I am talking about people who I meet and need to fraternize with because of the norms dictated by society. I cannot do it. I simply can’t. It is a genetic flaw in the system. My dad is like that. My grandfather was worse. Even my uncle is like that. It runs in the family.
It is not that I have any kind of problem getting along with perfect strangers and relatives (who are slightly better or worse than perfect strangers). Should I decide to, I get along just fine with them and often have been the life of the party so to speak. I am not shy. I have no great psychological problems. And I certainly am not a borderline case. The problem is the mood swings. Somewhere in the beginning or in between, this people interaction system switches itself off for no apparent reason. After that I don’t even try to mingle. I just ignore everyone’s existence. My liking or disliking these people doesn’t matter at all. I do not solicit company. In fact I actively avoid all contact. I keep making decisions to mix better, get to know them a little more, talk a bit but all of these resolutions bow to the fleeting need for seclusion.
I have said all that but forgot to put in the context. It is Christmas and we have had a lot of relatives. Some 17 or them. All throughout the last three days I have been closeted in my room ignoring their existence. They just left by the way. Some of them think I am eccentric. Some of them think I am a snob. Some think I have deep psychological problems (one of them, a distant uncle of mine, is a shrink). I know all of that. But I still can’t predict what I am going to do the next time I meet them.
My proclivity for being an unsocialite can only be matched for my proclivity for faux pas. As they were leaving one of them said “Rahul, you must be relieved. Finally some peace huh?”. A very beautiful opening to explain myself or make some lame excuse. And I say…this is priceless…. “No not really. It is a big house. I have had plenty of space to keep to keep out of the way”. My aunt’s face was aghast to say the least. I was being a tad bit too honest I guess.
Conclusion : There is no hope for me. I have and shall continue to injure a lot of egos.
(BTW it is the same with my dad with the Faux Pas. I couldn’t come close to equaling some of his lines in pure comedy.)
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