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| September 23, 2004
, 3:36 PM |
Something Pedestrian
Being from India I have until recently subscribed to and internalized the mentality of survival of the fittest on the road. The big man rules in India. If you have a truck, you have priority over a car chappie, who has priority over a two wheeler. It is a very logical system and agrees with the theory of evolution quite nicely. So a few guys get killed every once in a while. What the hell…we have a billion more to go. You can never run out of people right? Besides what would life be if you didn’t see some masala on the road – a couple of chaps beating the hell out of each other on your lunch hour provides just the right amount of distraction to bring in that feeling of all around well-being after a heavy meal on a warm afternoon. Having had my share of skirmishes I personally like the system…it adds just the right amount of toughness to the moral fiber…and imagination is something that gets better with practice. When you abuse verbally and you do it often enough, you get better over time…anyone who has survived high school and college will tell you what a valuable asset that is. There are lots of good things about this system. The list goes on.
Unfortunately they do these things quite differently in this country. You have to follow rules at every turn(quite literally) and what the hell is with this rule of stopping before a sign even when there is nobody else on the road. In India that would be insulting one’s intelligence. What is more people actually do this here. It is quite amazing how thoughts are surrendered to processes quite willingly in this country. Indians shall never subscribe to this crime and I am one of those creatures. However after some tickets and all those theories of paranoia by Indians in USA(this should sound familiar to anyone who has parents or relatives who immigrated to USA a little late in life), being repeatedly driven through your thick skin you start hesitating when you have to let common sense step in. You become paranoid about tickets, insurance and the legal system. You follow the rules and in spite of that can’t help wondering if Jesus wasn’t half right when he said “The meek shall inherit the earth".
Priority in USA is given to the pedestrians. If ever you are driving on the road and some chappie on foot is trying to cross the road, you better stop where you are unless you want to get screwed later. Pedestrians do not have the burden of responsibility. They can walk anywhere anytime with complete disregard for everything. Jaywalking as an offence is a joke in Florida. There are different kinds of pedestrians :
The Happy Walker – This guy will walk right across the road when you are driving at some 40 mph and will give you a cheerful wave as your heart almost hits the roof of your mouth after you slam the brakes suddenly.
The Old man at Sea – This person will walk across the road as you are driving at some 40mph and will stop in the middle of the road trying to recollect where he was going. He will move across after 2 minutes of intensive thinking as you patiently look on.
The Stuart Little – A kid who will run across the road out of nowhere when you are driving at some 40mph causing you to swerve wildly and possibly spill all that coffee in the mug beside you on your pants.
The Indian – This chap will patiently look at both sides of the street and normally will hesitate to cross the street even when everything looks clear and there is no traffic. He averages 25 mins to cross from one side of the road to the other.
The Jumper – This individual will wait patiently till your car approaches him and jump onto the road in front of your car when you are just a few feet away. You have to slam the brakes and chances are your air bags will inflate with the impact of your head on the steering.
The Socialist – This person is very conscious of his rights as a pedestrian. He will glare at you even after you have come to a dead halt several feet away with an expression of loathing which says “So you think you have more rights than me because you drive a BMW huh? You bastard.”
A few days back I came across a different animal.
41 (also known as Tamiami Trail) runs right across Port Charlotte, the little town I live in. It is the road that sees the highest traffic in the town as it connects Tampa and Miami and all the businesses in the town are located within a two block radius of this road. The speed limit is 45mph.
A few days back I was driving down 41 at what one would call a respectable speed – some 40 mph on an almost empty road (which shows you how gravely affected I am by the system here). Out of nowhere there walks this frail old woman (probably 80 something) trying to cross 41 right in the middle of the road. There is no signal. There is no crossing. There is nothing. She shouldn’t be here. This is unfair. This is illegal. This is not right. After some frantic movements on my part I however come to a dead halt some 10 feet away from her.
After having performed “The Jumper” (see profile above) she endeavors to portray “The Old man at Sea” (see profile above). After almost 1 minute of contemplation she glares at me quite living the role of “The Socialist” (see profile above). Then she gives me the finger and slowly walks across.
I need to name her profile, suggestions are welcome. |
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September 24, 2004 
